shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
