DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
