I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
He has the fingertips of a God
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