your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
