So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
