so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
