You smell like stripper and shame
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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