Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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