I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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