Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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