I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
