He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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