Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
