And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
