At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
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