Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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