great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
