Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
