maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
