so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
