So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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