pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
