woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
