spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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