I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
