it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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