Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize