I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
