it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
It's shark week go big or go home
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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