maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Randomize
