He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
