Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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