im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
