I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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