thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
