I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Even my vagina gasped.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
