She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
