maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
