It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I am midnight drunk by noon
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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