He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Boobs are out for the taking
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
