Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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