Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Randomize
