Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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