So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Everyone says I win the strip club
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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