Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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