Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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