its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
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