y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
