Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
