I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Randomize
