I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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