my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
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