Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
