It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
